7 inch single collection: Slide - Why is it a Crime

Turn of the 80's British rock...

Slide

A: Why is it a Crime

B: Never Ever
(Mercury 1989)

Before we get down to the frivolous business of me telling you what I think about this record, I'd like to make a serious point about grammar. You may well think it looks aesthetically pleasing to have your band logo being all capital letters apart from the middle one (and, to be fair, it does), but it's wrong. Just wrong. Slide or SLIDE or slide, but never ever SLiDE.
And while we're at it it "Why is it a Crime" - ever hear of question marks? (see - there's one, just there). This hasn't started well for me...
Just look at them there on the record sleeve, the jackets, the hair,the moody looks. Obviously they think they look cool, and obviously they don't. I know, because I looked like that in 1989 (maybe with an impish grin rather than the enigmatic scowl) - and I was never cool; have you seen my record collection? I'm still not, but I've learnt to embrace it.

Why is it Crime? Why is what a crime? Apparently "...to believe in me" - well it isn't, (unless you're running some kind of scam - then you're the criminal -not the person doing the believing), but this literal reading of the lyrics,of course is daft, and is diverting me from describing the record. You know Big Country, or Runrig or even a rockier Del Amitri ? This sound s a bit like them - there is something of the Celtic rock about the, and if these fellows turn out to be Scottish it wouldn't surprise me in the least. The intro lulls me into thinking that this record is not going to be as rocky as I think it should be, but then the drums kick in and there we go - you can almost tell what is sounds like from that sleeve. The drums carry the verse, with the singer's pleasant rock voice taking the melody, with the guitars adding an accent in the chorus. I can pick out some little organ details for colour on the background, then the instrumental break goes all 80's rock, in a polite, and non-raucous way. Then it ends. It's a little mundane, but perfectly serviceable.

The b-side is not a cover of All Saints Never Ever - which is a shame - that would have been a little more interesting - if unbelievable, as this pre-dates that song by a few years. It's got a strong, upbeat strummed acoustic intro, and this time the singer has added a bit of rasp to the voice - and that whole Celtic Rock vibe becomes even more apt. I quite like the bass line on this track, and as with the other side, when the electric guitars do come in, it feels like they're just adding a little more colour rather than rhythm or melody.

Overall this is a case of it'll do - not too bad, but nothing that would ever, or indeed did ever set the charts on fire.


Next time something of a one-hit-wonder with a jazz/soul vibe...

7 inch single collection: A Girl Called Johnny - Hello It Isn't Me

Something from the 80's you've probably never heard of...

A Girl Called Johnny

A: Hello, It Isn't Me

B: Shallow
(10 1986)

Sorry, no YouTube or equivalent link for this, so you're just going to have to take my word for this one.

Regular readers of this blog (if such a thing existed) will know that this is all about feelings and memory - and I shun research for facts and figures to fill this bit up with some kind of vaguely readable text. Well dear reader, I failed miserably this time - largely because I really like this record and wanted to know more about this band, and if they released anything else.

Let me share with you what I found. There's a song by The Waterboys called "A Girl Called Johnny" (but I knew that already), and there are at least two other bands with the same name. All I could find out about this band was some information about this specific record on Discogs.com. The only new information on this are the names of the band members. All of which confirms my prejudices on bothering to do any research for this folly of mine.

I can see why I bought the record - look at that sleeve, an attractive, if slightly mood, young woman hugging a beautiful guitar. I'm sure many people would love to be the place of that guitar, and I'm sure just as many would like to be in her place - it is a very lovely guitar.

Coming back to the point - what does Hello, It Isn't Me sound like. It's got a vague 80's indiepop feel - without much of the attendant spikiness and misirablism. It's got a lightweight bounce that reminds me of the likes of Aztec Camera and Orange Juice. The singer, who according to Discogs, isn't called Johnny, but Fiona, has a lovely warm voice. the chorus builds assertively without being aggressive, which builds further still to an delicate but explosive instrumental break. The guitar sound, hopefully that lovely looking Gibson on show, has rich fuzzy undertone. The tom-toms in the background of the latter verses add an extra little something.

We turn over the platter and find a song called Shallow. This has strong start with a jangly descending intro which leads us into a strong beat. The vocal on this side is slightly harder and more insistent. It's the same band with the same kind of sound - but this side is different enough from the a-side to make it interesting and stand-out on it's own merit. In fact I think this could have easily been an a-side too. The chorus is the kind that makes you nod your head to it whilst shouting along.

This is not the greatest record in the world , but I like it very, very much indeed - if the band had made an album I would have gone hunting for it.  I wouldn't say you should go and hunt it down - but if you do get the chance to hear it, do so. I've still got both songs in head, and over the years both have popped up randomly, and unbidden, but always welcome.

Next time - some British guys play have a go at rock...

7 inch single collection: J.Geils Band - Centerfold

Rocky, catchy and a bit dodgy...

J.Geils Band

A: Centerfold

B: Flamethrower
(EMI America 1981)

Oh, come on- you know this one, surely! It was very popular in 1981 and even got to number one here in the UK - can't say for the rest of the world - but I suspect it did pretty well.

What can I tell you about the band - not much. The singer's surname was Wolf - which feels pretty appropriate, and J. Geils himself (the guitarist) passed away quite recently (2017, I think)

You can tell that I'm trying to put off reviewing the record, because I'm not really sure what to say. Yes, Centerfold is a load of big and bouncy fun! It's got a good hook, and great sing-a-long, punch-your-fists-in-the-air chorus. The lyrics are simultaneously pervy and self-righteous and definitely full dodgy double standards. I'm paraphrasing the chorus and the latter half of the song but it goes something like this:

"I was shocked to see a girl I used to fancy at school in a pornographic magazine that I was reading*/looking at/using. I hope next time I meet her in real life she's got all her clothes on. Then I can take her to a motel, and take off all her clothes, and have sex with her, 'cos she's obviously gagging for it."

Then there's that god-awful squeaky synth sound that ruins so many rock records of this era. The whole thing is cheesier than the deli counter at Tesco.

I'm not sure what to expect when I flip the disc to Flamethrower. I've no memory of listening to this, although I know I must have done. I was expecting more of the same - and wasn't too surprised with what I found. It starts off with a clattering of drums, then those 80's squeaky keyboards come in. It's got a slightly funkier feel that the other side, and a long, daft instrumental break broken up with "Huh's" and yelps. It breaks down at the end into a sax and keyboard mush, which then tails off.

Obviously it's a terrible, but enjoyable record. I feel a little sullied after listening - but it's going to be an earworm for ages.

*For the articles obviously...

Next time some fairly obscure mid-80's British guitar pop...

7 inch single collection: The Distractions - It Doesn't Bother Me

Something a bit post-punk new wavey...

The Distractions

A: It Doesn't Bother Me

B: One Way Love
(Island 1970)

Who these guys are I don't know, and whether this single bothered the charts or not I don't particularly care. What's important (to me!) about this record is that it's on white vinyl. That is almost certainly the thing that attracted me to this record in the bargain bin. I'm a complete sucker for something a bit different to get me to part with cold hard cash for a record.

When leafing through my record collection the impression that I get whenever my eyes alight upon this particular specimen is a feeling of - it's good and I like it - but inevitably it will get passed over for a listen for something else.

It Doesn't Bother Me is a bright upbeat  slice of post-punk power-pop. It's upbeat with a crisp and clean guitar sound , with an unusual and welcome background organ punctuation. I bounced along to this song, and sang along with the chorus. There was a good false ending, on which I particularly enjoyed the drum sound.

Flipping this lovely milky white disc over we find One Way Love (not the 60's big, bold, brassy pop song by Cliff Bennett and The Rebel Rousers, for those of you who were wondering - I was).  It's equally up-tempo, with the kind of four-square rhythm that almost forces you to clap along with. It terms of overall sound it's not that different to the a-side, but that's no bad thing. Then it stops before it has the chance to go on to long and bore you..

This was a really enjoyable record, that three minute after I'd finished listening to it I couldn't remember the tunes or the words - they'd just gone. It was, appropriately, a distraction, but a welcome one. I expect next time I'm flicking through my record collection I'll see it and nod and smile in recollection of a good record, but still won't play it.

Next time a bit of dodgy 80's American rock...

7 inch single collection: The Farm - Stepping Stone

As promised, over 3 years ago some baggy Scousers...

The Farm

A: Stepping Stone

B: Family of Man
(Produce 1990)

I don't anything about the history of The Farm, but if any artist screams "We're jumping on to indie/dance (Baggy) Bandwagon" more loudly then I can't think of then.* Just look at that record sleeve - surely even the designer is taking the mickey: its a sheep! A sheep wearing the silly hat, baggy jeans, and trainers uniform of the baggy crowd. Just in case you're thinking, but they're called The Farm, and it's a sheep - surely that's reasonable? Just go and find the album cover - it's designed to look like generic brand washing powder - it's basically saying here's some more similar product to go on the shelves.

Let's not worry about that now; what else do I know about this band. Not much except I can tell you they made one good record and one famous one - this record is neither...

You may recognise that name - Stepping Stone - it's that song beloved of many a garage band in the late 60's. Most famously recorded by both The Monkees and The Sex Pistols. The songs starts off with some fake phone call samples a twang of bass, and then a twang of guitar - and sounds quite promising, then the drums break into a slouchy shuffling rhythm that persists throughout the song. At the same time an insistent bell-like ringing noise kicks in and just doesn't stop - it's like rhythmic tinnitus. Once the band is locked into this lolloping groove it's not too bad, until the singer starts up. You may be familiar this song - lyrically it can be interpreted as arrogant and aggressive, or alternatively, painfully self-delusional. The Farm have decided to interpret is as boredom - because there's no energy or passion in the singing, just "Ho, Hum - you're using me then, fair enough". I'm a big fan of taking an old song and doing something new or different to it - but this feel more like nicking someone else's lyrics and sticking them to your own tune out of sheer laziness.

It's a double a-side, this time, and on the other a-side is Family of Man. This starts off with some house-style piano, and a pretty good, if slightly generic baggy groove gets going, and then, as before, the singer starts up, and the whole thing falls a bit flat. The overall effect is dullness. I kind of stopped listening until a few seconds before the end when from out of nowhere, this screaming hard-rock style guitar solo bursts in all very showy and completely incongruous. Just, NO!

It's not the worst record in my collection, and I was rather fond of it back in the day, but that fondness has diminished over time, and now it's one of those records that commits the cardinal sin of being a bit dull really.

*Yes, I can actually - it's Northside (eventually to be covered in a later blog)

Next time a bit of obscure pop-punk/new wave from the turn of the 70's...

7 inch single collection: Green On Red - You Couldn't Get Arrested

Alt-country, or Nu-Country or Americana, or Whatever it's called now...

GREEN ON RED

A: You Couldn't Get Arrested

B: Broken Radio
(China 1990)

Green on Red were a country music group - although in the late 80's/early 90's country music was so unhip that acts like this had to label themselves alt-country to make any kind of stab at respectability. It still happens today and this kind of music gets bracketed as "Nu-Country", or to distance itself even further "Americana". I'm not quibbling over names of genres - it sounds like country music to me. Also the guitarist is called Chuck Prophet, and you don't get much more cowboy than that, unless you're wearing a Stetson and are being played by John Wayne.

I've already said what genre the record is - so what does it actually sound like? You Couldn't Get Arrested has a slow twangy feel with rasped vocals, proving a veneer of sneer over the melody. It's the sound of an isolated desert township, empty except for the occasional tumbleweed. There's a subtle and understated organ underneath the stark guitar part. There's not much to it in the end, but it's highly likable despite that.

Broken Radio on the flip side is even more laid back - if that's possible! It's got a proper slide guitar or possibly pedal steel guitar on it. It's even more redolent of that stereotyped image of canyons and Badlands, with some lonesome cowboy riding off into the distance. Broken Radio is a melancholy tune, filled with a nostalgia for something that probably never existed.

It's a good record, but, ultimately, one that I'm unlikely to listen to too often, just because it's something that I really have to be in the mood for. However what I can say is that this is country music and it's good country music.

Next time some baggy scally scousers...

7 inch single collection: ABBA - Under Attack

Scandinavia's most famous musical export...

ABBA

A-Side: Under Attack
AA-Side: You Owe Me One
(Epic 1982)      

The thing that I like most about ABBA is the fact that made up the band name from their initials - that's the kind of creativity I like. Their music on the other hand has always left me a bit cold - not really my kind of thing. It's odd how ABBA's reputation has changed over the years - they were in their hey day a highly popular, but ultimately throwaway pop act, not serious music listening at all. Then in the mid-80's this began to change, people who didn't seem the sort to like ABBA began to take their music very seriously, at first it seemed like an ironic enjoyment, but now they appear to be highly regarded in the critical world. I suppose it takes time from initial impact to see the kind of lasting effect that some bands have - it seems that ABBA had the right skills and talents to ensure that they created a sound that would last, and remain unique and distinctive. Still doesn't mean that I like them that much...

This double a-sider is late period ABBA neither song being amongst their most remembered. Thus from a time when the camp and glamour were fading and things were getting grayer, and seemingly interpersonal relationships were eating away at the group.This manifests itself in Under Attack it's oddly low key on the verses, and whilst it's got a disco feel it's not the high energy sound tat you might expect. There's a building up through the verses into the climax of the song, with some odd vocoder style voices at points. It's a song that has all the characteristic hallmarks of the ABBA sound, but without hooks or the strident upbeat sound that you'd normally think of.

You Owe Me One has a bit more of a generic pop feel to it - particularly the clean bright sounding pop that typically comes out of Scandinavia. The verses have a nursery rhyme feel to them. It's almost entirely unremarkable - that alone would be remarkable for ABBA, however there is is slight twist to the instrumentation, there is an exotic, almost eastern groove teasing in the background of the song. That almost makes it worth listening to.

A bit of a low-key and largely unmemorable record for me.

Next time we head out west into Americana territory...