7 inch single collection: J.Geils Band - Centerfold

Rocky, catchy and a bit dodgy...

J.Geils Band

A: Centerfold

B: Flamethrower
(EMI America 1981)

Oh, come on- you know this one, surely! It was very popular in 1981 and even got to number one here in the UK - can't say for the rest of the world - but I suspect it did pretty well.

What can I tell you about the band - not much. The singer's surname was Wolf - which feels pretty appropriate, and J. Geils himself (the guitarist) passed away quite recently (2017, I think)

You can tell that I'm trying to put off reviewing the record, because I'm not really sure what to say. Yes, Centerfold is a load of big and bouncy fun! It's got a good hook, and great sing-a-long, punch-your-fists-in-the-air chorus. The lyrics are simultaneously pervy and self-righteous and definitely full dodgy double standards. I'm paraphrasing the chorus and the latter half of the song but it goes something like this:

"I was shocked to see a girl I used to fancy at school in a pornographic magazine that I was reading*/looking at/using. I hope next time I meet her in real life she's got all her clothes on. Then I can take her to a motel, and take off all her clothes, and have sex with her, 'cos she's obviously gagging for it."

Then there's that god-awful squeaky synth sound that ruins so many rock records of this era. The whole thing is cheesier than the deli counter at Tesco.

I'm not sure what to expect when I flip the disc to Flamethrower. I've no memory of listening to this, although I know I must have done. I was expecting more of the same - and wasn't too surprised with what I found. It starts off with a clattering of drums, then those 80's squeaky keyboards come in. It's got a slightly funkier feel that the other side, and a long, daft instrumental break broken up with "Huh's" and yelps. It breaks down at the end into a sax and keyboard mush, which then tails off.

Obviously it's a terrible, but enjoyable record. I feel a little sullied after listening - but it's going to be an earworm for ages.

*For the articles obviously...

Next time some fairly obscure mid-80's British guitar pop...

7 inch single collection: The Distractions - It Doesn't Bother Me

Something a bit post-punk new wavey...

The Distractions

A: It Doesn't Bother Me

B: One Way Love
(Island 1970)

Who these guys are I don't know, and whether this single bothered the charts or not I don't particularly care. What's important (to me!) about this record is that it's on white vinyl. That is almost certainly the thing that attracted me to this record in the bargain bin. I'm a complete sucker for something a bit different to get me to part with cold hard cash for a record.

When leafing through my record collection the impression that I get whenever my eyes alight upon this particular specimen is a feeling of - it's good and I like it - but inevitably it will get passed over for a listen for something else.

It Doesn't Bother Me is a bright upbeat  slice of post-punk power-pop. It's upbeat with a crisp and clean guitar sound , with an unusual and welcome background organ punctuation. I bounced along to this song, and sang along with the chorus. There was a good false ending, on which I particularly enjoyed the drum sound.

Flipping this lovely milky white disc over we find One Way Love (not the 60's big, bold, brassy pop song by Cliff Bennett and The Rebel Rousers, for those of you who were wondering - I was).  It's equally up-tempo, with the kind of four-square rhythm that almost forces you to clap along with. It terms of overall sound it's not that different to the a-side, but that's no bad thing. Then it stops before it has the chance to go on to long and bore you..

This was a really enjoyable record, that three minute after I'd finished listening to it I couldn't remember the tunes or the words - they'd just gone. It was, appropriately, a distraction, but a welcome one. I expect next time I'm flicking through my record collection I'll see it and nod and smile in recollection of a good record, but still won't play it.

Next time a bit of dodgy 80's American rock...

7 inch single collection: The Farm - Stepping Stone

As promised, over 3 years ago some baggy Scousers...

The Farm

A: Stepping Stone

B: Family of Man
(Produce 1990)

I don't anything about the history of The Farm, but if any artist screams "We're jumping on to indie/dance (Baggy) Bandwagon" more loudly then I can't think of then.* Just look at that record sleeve - surely even the designer is taking the mickey: its a sheep! A sheep wearing the silly hat, baggy jeans, and trainers uniform of the baggy crowd. Just in case you're thinking, but they're called The Farm, and it's a sheep - surely that's reasonable? Just go and find the album cover - it's designed to look like generic brand washing powder - it's basically saying here's some more similar product to go on the shelves.

Let's not worry about that now; what else do I know about this band. Not much except I can tell you they made one good record and one famous one - this record is neither...

You may recognise that name - Stepping Stone - it's that song beloved of many a garage band in the late 60's. Most famously recorded by both The Monkees and The Sex Pistols. The songs starts off with some fake phone call samples a twang of bass, and then a twang of guitar - and sounds quite promising, then the drums break into a slouchy shuffling rhythm that persists throughout the song. At the same time an insistent bell-like ringing noise kicks in and just doesn't stop - it's like rhythmic tinnitus. Once the band is locked into this lolloping groove it's not too bad, until the singer starts up. You may be familiar this song - lyrically it can be interpreted as arrogant and aggressive, or alternatively, painfully self-delusional. The Farm have decided to interpret is as boredom - because there's no energy or passion in the singing, just "Ho, Hum - you're using me then, fair enough". I'm a big fan of taking an old song and doing something new or different to it - but this feel more like nicking someone else's lyrics and sticking them to your own tune out of sheer laziness.

It's a double a-side, this time, and on the other a-side is Family of Man. This starts off with some house-style piano, and a pretty good, if slightly generic baggy groove gets going, and then, as before, the singer starts up, and the whole thing falls a bit flat. The overall effect is dullness. I kind of stopped listening until a few seconds before the end when from out of nowhere, this screaming hard-rock style guitar solo bursts in all very showy and completely incongruous. Just, NO!

It's not the worst record in my collection, and I was rather fond of it back in the day, but that fondness has diminished over time, and now it's one of those records that commits the cardinal sin of being a bit dull really.

*Yes, I can actually - it's Northside (eventually to be covered in a later blog)

Next time a bit of obscure pop-punk/new wave from the turn of the 70's...